The Touch Barrier

There’s a woman, who I will refer to as “Jane,” who has been at the breakfast since I first started. When I first began serving, Jane was very standoffish and reserved. She would come to the breakfast, sit at a table, eat her breakfast and leave. She didn’t really say hello or look at anyone. Needless to say, connecting took a long time. A few months ago, Jane was asked to help us serve food. Over these last few months, Jane’s whole demeanor has changed. She comes in smiling, enthusiastic and engaging. It’s been incredible to see such a huge change compared to a year ago.

One of the most incredible things happened recently. Jane came up to me and told me she has been sober for a year now. And then…

Jane gave me a hug.

I couldn’t believe it. She broke the “touch barrier.” I can’t quite describe what the feeling was like, but I can tell you this much. For her to do so, was HUGE.

Here’s why:

The touch barrier is all about how people set boundaries and personal space when it comes to physical contact. It’s influenced by individual preferences, cultural norms, and social expectations. Some people are more comfortable with touch, while others prefer more personal space.

When we think about how homelessness and the touch barrier intersect, a few things come to mind. First, it’s important to recognize that homelessness can greatly affect how someone feels about their personal space and boundaries. Unstable living conditions and being constantly surrounded by crowded shelters or public spaces can make it difficult to maintain the physical distance people want.

People experiencing homelessness are often more vulnerable to physical contact. The power dynamics and increased risk of exploitation or harm on the streets or in shelters can make them more cautious about being touched. This heightened sensitivity to personal space is a way for people to protect themselves.

Society’s perceptions and stereotypes about homelessness can also contribute to the touch barrier. People experiencing homelessness often face stigma and dehumanization, which can lead to social isolation and fewer positive social interactions. Some people hold negative attitudes and misconceptions, viewing those experiencing homelessness as undesirable or untouchable.

To address the touch barrier and support people experiencing homelessness, it’s crucial to promote empathy, understanding, and respectful interactions. Those working with individuals experiencing homelessness, such as service providers, volunteers, and community members, should be mindful of personal boundaries and respect individual preferences regarding touch. Creating safe spaces that foster dignity, trust, and a sense of autonomy can gradually break down the touch barrier and build positive connections.